A Break Up Letter to Major League Soccer During the World Cup

Dear Major League Soccer,

Hey... How’s it going? Can you sit down for a moment? We need to talk…

Let me just say this first; sort of clear the air. Make sure there’s no real mis-understanding: I really do like you. This season has been great. I’ve really enjoyed being able to spend a lot of time with you, get to know all of your teams, your players, and even, unfortunately, too well, some of your referees.

That being said… and I’m really sorry to have to say this; I think we need to take a break.

I know, I know….things have been great. It’s nothing that you’ve done. Honestly. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s not you it’s me.

With the World Cup starting on Friday I just feel like I need to explore my options a bit. I mean, I know what I have with you. I’ve got Juan Pablo Angel and Frankie Hejduk. I’ve got the Los Angeles Galaxy and the Chicago Fire. I’ve got Red Bull Arena and Qwest Field. All that is wonderful and it makes me really happy, but I just wonder sometimes what else is out there….

You’re upset. I can see that. I’m sorry, but just hear me out.

Let’s take a break. I don’t know… maybe for like two weeks. Let’s have one really nice last night say Thursday, June 10th. We can do Philadelphia Union at Kansas City Wizards and DC United at Seattle Sounders. How does that sound? One last hurrah?

Don’t just sit there all quiet. Please say something.

Opportunities like this only come by once every four years. I mean, it’s the World Cup! Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Drogba, Robben Van Persie, Messi…. I could go on. Italy, France, England, Netherlands, Brazil, Germany… all the world’s greatest soccer playing nations. All in one place! Beautiful South Africa. Hosting the continent’s first Cup.

How could anyone say no to that?

Change? No, you don’t have to change. You’re wonderful just the way you are. There’s something endearing about your half-full stadiums and poor first touches.

Please don’t try and bribe me with presents. I’ve heard it all before about Thierry Henry to Red Bulls after the World Cup. Don’t try and be something you’re not. Remember the last time you tried that with me and Beckham? Besides Henry’s a dirty cheat and a fringe player on a terrible national team.

Things will get better I promise. Two weeks from now we’ll be in the midst of the knockout stages and I’m sure I can make some time for you.

Let's talk again then,

Your Friend,

Dan

P.S.

OK, maybe not until after July 11th, but then I’m all yours.

P.P.S.

Just not August 10th. That’s when the U.S. plays Brazil.

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