Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Tuesday XI: Great American Heroes

We continue a great new feature on the Free Beer Movement site. In collaboration with the quality soccer site, "The Other 87 Minutes" we present the "Tuesday XI" (and sometimes the "Tuesday Ten") a thoughtful list on a variety of topics in the world of soccer.

What is this new site we're exposing you too? We'll let them explain:
The Other 87 seeks to provide something that’s not instant analysis or eve of matchday previews. Think of us as the good bits of your favorite soccer coverage: the profiles that examine what makes a certain player tick, the historical background that sheds some light on how the sport has evolved to the present day, the silly features that are more than just tacking names on a list, but considering and explaining why each one deserves to be there.
O87 wants to be a home for soccer writing that makes you think, but that also treats the game as just that, a game. The greatest game, the one we obsess over and fixate on, to the point where we can’t read that gas costs 3.43 a gallon without thinking of Ajax’s 1995 Champions League winning team. But a game nonetheless.
“When you play a match, it is statistically proven that players actually have the ball three minutes on average. The best players – the Zidanes, Ronaldinhos, Gerrards – will have the ball maybe four minutes. Lesser players – defenders – probably two minutes. So, the most important thing is: what do you do those 87 minutes when you do not have the ball…. That is what determines whether you’re a good player or not.” –Johann Cruyff
Make sure you head over to "The Other 87 Minutes" and check out all the... well... other great writing on their site. What do you think of the "Tuesday XI"? Let us know in the comments section!

This week, in honor of the Fourth of July, we present to you our Real American Hero team, featuring a range of players that make the U.S. of A. great. They're lined up in a Christmas tree formation, the better to take advantage of the plethora of hard-working midfielders in the side.



GK – Abraham Lincoln — The first member of our $177.06 defense. He has the length, theforesight, and the courage to hold the team together in its hours of need.

Will destroy your strikers
and your National Bank.
LB – Ulysses S. Grant — Draws criticism for being too aggressive, but when push comes to shove he gets the job done when no one else can.

CB – Benjamin Franklin — Has his share of turkeys, but the wizened veteran is full of sage advice for the rest of our squad.

CB – Andrew Jackson — Tough as old hickory wood on the playing field.

RB – Thomas Jefferson — Contributing his $2.05 to the team is our footballing polymath. He’s equally comfortable in midfield or on the back line.

DM – Hulk Hogan — Less Real American Hero, more Real American. If you thought Pepe was physical in the center of the midfield, wait ‘til you get a load of this guy.

Once we got him over his pathological
fear of spheres, he turned into a great player
.
LM – G.I. Joe — Here’s the Real American Hero. Our can-do, do-all utility midfielder. He can fill any position on the pitch in a pinch.

RM – Indiana Jones — Like Clint Dempsey, Jones’ number one attribute as a player is his copious testicular fortitude.

AM – Angus MacGyver — Our attacking midfield embodies two traits we Americans value highly, innovation and athleticism. Young Angus has only recently replaced the aging Thomas Edison as the creative force in the midfield, but he’s already shown an incredible capacity for creating goals out of nothing. Plus, he has a cool theme song, and if there's one thing you need to survive on this team, it's a cool theme song.
Demonstrating his crossing ability.

AM – Jesse Owens — Owens, on the other hand, provides the freakish physical tools, and with Jones and Joe gives us a Nazi-fighting trifecta.

CF – George Washington — Could there be a better American striker? A natural leader with a good cross in him. Plus, he’s 6’8” and weighs a f*cking ton.

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1 comment:

  1. Sorry, but take out The Hulkster, and replace him with Chick Norris, or rambo is chuck is not available.

    ReplyDelete

"Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face."
- Former Dallas Burn (aka FC Dallas) coach Dave Dir

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