Friday, October 2, 2009

The Free Beer Movement Hall of Fame

[This the transcript from the FBM Hall of Fame webcast that was televised on Missed it? I'm sure it will be on the site, archived, soon enough...]

Dear Honored Guests, Various National News Media Outlets, the Free Beer Movement Board of Directors.... yes, I see you, hi mom:

Drinking beer and being a soccer fan go hand in hand, but often times we forget that the people we watch on the field are just as big of fans of drinking as we are in the stands and in front of the TV.

Their tireless commitment to consuming alcohol parallels our own with the added responsibility of performing at a high level on the pitch. These honored souls commitment to excellence should not be confused with our commitment to drink as it is obvious we are all just sad sacks of shit.

We are gathered here today to announce a new day in soccer history. Today, the Free Beer Movement Hall of Fame opens to the general public. This will be the virtual home for all of te greats of the soccer world that have not only performed admirably on the field, but also in the watering holes around the globe.

We at the Free Beer Movement are prepared to induct several high-profile individuals into the "Free Beer Movement Hall of Fame" and with that prestigious place in history also comes the title of "Honorary Free Beer Movement Member" ("Free Beer Movers").

Becoming an honorary member of the Movement is kind of like those Ph. D's that university hand out to celebrities and politicians all the time. The real people put in all the work (Movers pay for all that beer and host Match Day and students study constantly) and they get the the big, fancy titles with no work at all.

There is one exception to that comparison and that is the fact that our honorary members HAVE done something, both on and off the field. They are known for their ability to withstand 90+ minutes of punishing pressure and THEN go out and get stinking drunk for hours on end.

These are our "honorary members" of the FBM.

Every once in a while we'll induct a new honorary member into the FBM Hall of Fame based on their on-field presence and/or off-field drinking exploits. Plus, we'll save some space for a few drunkards from the wider soccer-world as well.

Today is a great day for soccer and alcohol, for they have always been close compatriots, but never before married in such a glorious idea.

Today we announce our first induction. Please raise your glass for .......

1 comment:

  1. Who is it? You didn't finish your sentence, the anticipation is killing me.....


"Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face."
- Former Dallas Burn (aka FC Dallas) coach Dave Dir

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