Tuesday, November 30, 2010

INdecision 2010: Five (Random) Reasons The U.S. Will Host the 2022 World Cup

Give it to us straight, Jon.

By lunchtime Thursday everyone (at least everyone that cares to know) will know the host nations of the 2018 and the 2022 World Cups. Certainly know which European nation will host the latter tournament is important to those with a horse in the race, but for the sake of American soccer we're watching the 2022 announcement with great anticipation.

Having bailed on their 2018 ambitions the United States has put all of its faith in their quest to host the 2022 World Cup. Landing the World Cup in 12 years time will become the next watershed moment for soccer in America. The 1994 Cup launched soccer in this nation from out from behind the shadows, launched our domestic league, Major League Soccer, and put our National Teams on their path to the success they've seen today (although the women's Nats already have one world champions under their belt by then).

Hosting the 2022 World Cup will be the perfect bookend for this story of America's growing love affair with the global game. What began 16 years ago as a massively successful debut for top-flight soccer will come full-circle to show that the sport in the United States has grown by leaps and bounds.

Here are our top five (random) reasons why the United States should another World Cup in 2022. 

Note: We're only looking at the top three bidding nations, the U.S., Australia, and Qatar. South Korea and Japan can both suck an egg because they just had the Cup in 2002. Greedy bastards.

1) Celebrities

Australia? Some "netball" player endorsed the bid! You know how you get your countrymen and women fired up for the WC? Find someone who plays an even more obscure sport than soccer to join in and you've got star power!

Qatar? We're pretty sure the Middle Eastern nation gave former French international Zinedine Zidane an oil field for his birthday to get his blessing for the Qatar 2022 big. Not fair. We probably would've just given Zizzou a spot on the New York Red Bulls with Thierry Henry.

Advantage? USA! USA! USA!

2) Petition Signatures

USA? 1,180,000 

Australia? 327,000

Qatar? 0 (No counter. Probably afraid no one would sign it!) 

Advantage? USA! USA! USA!

3) Awesome NFL Stadiums

USA? Umm.... we've got 32 of em! Including a brand-spanking-new one in Dallas that will make your eye bulge out like the wolf checking out the pretty girl in those Warner Brothers cartoons!

Australia? No NFL stadiums.

Qatar? No NFL stadiums. Although they want to air condition their stadiums to shield fans from their 130-degree weather and probably build and underwater stadium, too, and that's just stupid.

Advantage? USA! USA! USA!

4) Beer

USA? Yeah, OK, you kinda got us there with Budweiser, one of FIFA's biggest sponsors, but think of all the delicious beer you could drink before and after the games! The games will be a "water" break.

Australia? Fosters. Seriously? Just because you have those giant, novelty cans doesn't mean it's any good.

Qatar? Alcohol is banned because Qatar is a Muslim country. Although, Qatar has said it would open up alcohol sale for the month of the Cup which means they'd basically sell their religion down the river (if they have any) to host this thing. Not very trust-worthy if you ask us.

Advantage? USA! USA! USA!

5) Military

USA? 1,477,896 active duty personnel. 145,026,374 people available for military service. A $692 billion budget.

Australia? 57,500 active duty personnel. 9,870,031 people available for military service. $26 billion budget (Australian dollars)

Qatar? 11,800 active duty pesonnnel. 551,051 people available for military service. A $810 million budget.

Advantage? USA! USA! USA!

So what's it going to be FIFA? We've got star power, petition power, NFL power, beer power, and military power.

We think the choice is pretty clear. Unless you want about $6 million of our military budget to visit you in Zurich? There's the government support you were whining about. 

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