Friday, December 4, 2009

Who We're Buying a Beer For...

This week's beers are being handed out in sympathy for a number of individuals, animals, and organizations.

1) Charlie Davies

Multiple sources have reported that the injured USMNTer is making great progress on his road to recovery. Davies mentioned in an interview with ESPN this week that he expects to be playing in South Africa this June for the World Cup.

Now we don't have a medical degree, but we do watch a lot of the hit TV show, House, so we've got a knack for unique approaches when it comes to health care. Hear us out... have a beer. That might really get the blood flowing!

It's so crazy is just might work!

In all honesty, though, Davies on the mend is a great sign for the young American star, but continuing the medical positivity is that a number of other American internationals are seeing their fortunes on the rise when it comes to shaking the injury bug.

A beer for all those USMNTers shaking off the cobwebs in time for the 2010 World Cup!

2) South African Cows

Beef in the World Cup 2010 host nation is at risk of being sacrificed for good luck at each of the game venues, this according to the the BBC.

Various touchy-feely groups across the continent and several abroad have gotten their undies in a bunch over it, but supporters call it a "truely African" way to celebrate Africa's first World Cup.

To be honest, we've got no horse in the race (or cow!), but if these noble creatures find themselves on death row before the 2010 tourney let us be the ones to buy them their last drink.

"Cow... what do you want on your tombstone?"
"Fuck it... give me a beer."

3) The United Soccer Leagues

Could any organization being any more fucked that the USL right now?

Yes, I suppose the Taliban are sure fucked now with 30,000 more troops on their way to Afghanistan. Good answer.

The Secret Service? Yes... I another good answer. They did royal screw up letting those two reality TV attention whore into the White House reception for the Indian Prime Minister.

But that's besides the point. The USL is hemorrhaging teams to the competing North American Soccer League, bankruptcy, and pure collapse faster that anyone can keep track. At the time we wrote this the league only had four teams left (including one that has never played a competitive game and looks in a poor position to get off the ground and other that is leaving for Major League Soccer in a year.

The big question is why any of those teams are still hanging around in the USL right now (including my own Austin Aztex)? Have you seen the 2010 schedule? (ha ha!)

I propose a summit between the dead carcass that is the USL and the we-don't-know-quite-what-it-is-yet-but-it-at-least-has-teams-in-its-league-NASL over a bunch of tasty brews. Something like when that white cop and that black professor got into that tiff about them professor breaking into his own home earlier in the year. President Barack Obama could settle it all for us . Because the United States Soccer Federation sure as hell has been sitting on their hands a lot over this.

This is a complete side note, but entirely related, but the falling, flaming soccer ball on the USL crest is looking awfully ironic right now.

Certainly there are a lot of people in the situation in need of a beer to settle the differences or at least one to cry into.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, MLS and USL crests all stink.

    Is "NASL" really going to go retro or do you think they'll have something new (maybe incorporating some old 70's elements). Maybe a soccer ball with long hippie hair or something? Honestly, give up on the soccer ball on the crest. If we don't know what the sport is, it's all redundant...


"Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face."
- Former Dallas Burn (aka FC Dallas) coach Dave Dir

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