Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Tuesday XI: Piano Man Edition

By "The Other 87 Minutes" / Senior Unemployed English Major Correspondents  
We're stepping back into the music world this week in honor of last week's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions (We're pro-Beastie Boy.). Except instead of putting together an team of musicians, we're lining up songs, specifically famous title characters from songs, into a harmonious XI.
I don't think that's the right one.
GK – Macho Man – Uses his inflated ego, and pectoral muscles, to deflect goal-bound shots.
LB – Minnie the Moocher – Bought a diamond car with some platinum wheels with her first top-flight paycheck.
CB – Bad Bad Leroy Brown – Something a throwback to the old-timey center-halves of yesteryear. If the baddest man in the whole damn town doesn't get the ball, he's going to be sure to get the man.
CB – Superfreak – Definitely not the kind of player you'd take home to mother. TheYouTube highlight reel is topped only by the outlandish off-the-field antics. Imagine if you crossed Marvell Wynne with Mario Balotelli.
RB – Eleanor Rigby – Picks up the ball, on the flanks, in the space, where the winger has been. Crosses like a dream.
Not exactly...
DM – Iron Man – Has really raised his game in the center since he was turned to steel in the great magnetic field.
CM – Baba O'Riley – Fights for his meals out there in the field, and always gets his back into his motoring up and down from box-to-box.
AM – Mack the Knife – Someone's sneaking behind the defense, ghosting late onto crosses or to collect drop-offs from our center forwards. Could that someone, perhaps, perchance, be Mack the Knife?
LW– Jumping Jack Flash – Hits defenses like a cross-fire hurricane down the left side.
Fine, whatever.
CF – Man in Black – It says it right there in the song, “Up front there oughta be a man in black.” You want to argue with a guy who only dresses in all black?
RW – Voodoo Child – Provides craftiness and guile up top to balance the speed of Jumping Jack Flash and the power of the Man in Black. He’ll move mountains to get our side a goal, or at least chop them down with the edge of his hand.

What is this new site we're exposing you too? We'll let them explain:
The Other 87 seeks to provide something that’s not instant analysis or eve of matchday previews. Think of us as the good bits of your favorite soccer coverage: the profiles that examine what makes a certain player tick, the historical background that sheds some light on how the sport has evolved to the present day, the silly features that are more than just tacking names on a list, but considering and explaining why each one deserves to be there.

O87 wants to be a home for soccer writing that makes you think, but that also treats the game as just that, a game. The greatest game, the one we obsess over and fixate on, to the point where we can’t read that gas costs 3.43 a gallon without thinking of Ajax’s 1995 Champions League winning team. But a game nonetheless.

“When you play a match, it is statistically proven that players actually have the ball three minutes on average. The best players – the Zidanes, Ronaldinhos, Gerrards – will have the ball maybe four minutes. Lesser players – defenders – probably two minutes. So, the most important thing is: what do you do those 87 minutes when you do not have the ball…. That is what determines whether you’re a good player or not.” –Johann Cruyff

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  1. what is that line-up exactly??? I was expecting to see the names of soccer players, but instead I saw names or nicknames in the positions of a soccer team, what does it mean??????


"Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face."
- Former Dallas Burn (aka FC Dallas) coach Dave Dir

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