(Editor's Note: This is the second column of our new guest writer, Mugwayne Nanfusu. Check out his first piece here.)Helllloooo you Americans! It has been such a week since I first wrote to you. I have read from London that there are many exciting things going on "across the pond" as they say here. Career naked-woman Pamela Anderson was removed from "Dancing With the Stars" and I hear that a woman named Kendra is appearing in many sexual intercourse tapings. How scandalous! More seriously, I hope all of your cars are moving fine with the spilling of oil on your gulf courses.
How rude of me! I have only written one column for the Free Beer Movement so maybe I should not be talking so familiar with you Americans so quickly. Allow me to introduce myself again.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I will be taking about "hands". No, no, no... I know what your are thinking! Ha ha! I am not a doctor... I already told you I am a banker. There will be no hand-washing checks today.
I talk about the fact that you Americans are very puzzled about the fact that soccer is played mostly with our feet. You Americans are always asking, "Mugwayne, why do you play that silly sport with your stinky, smell feet?"
I laugh and say to you Americans "Why are you always running around in your sports with so many sticks? Someone is going to get hurt!" You see in soccer only one player, the keeper of goal is allowed to use his hands. Everyone else must only use their feet (unless it is a "throw-in" from out-of-bounds).
You Americans have a very funny relationship with feet. American women are always cramming them into very weird shoes that rise very high and American men are always wearing sports shoes they rarely play actual sports in. It seems like only children and dirty, backpacking college kids expose their feet to the air.
Growing up I always wished I had four feet instead of two hand and two feet. It is funny because one of my friends of childhood did have four feet, but that was because we lived so close to a Shell oil drilling station back in Nigeria. Surprisingly, he was not very good a soccer. He mostly laid around and complained of headaches. I would have used all those feet so well!
Think now, you Americans, I know that you are always moving about in your Sports Utility Vehicles and Hummers from place to place, and think of feet as something that get in the way of the TV, but for someone who walked to the neighboring village for school six miles both ways to use your feet in such a beautiful way is to make them sing with a ball!
I love hands, though. They are they fantastic ends of an out-stretched goalkeeper making a great save. In your American sports they fuel pitcher's duels, game winning touchdowns, and slap shot goals. You Americans always think that the using of feet in sports is somehow backwards, but really it is the highest form of art. Yes, yes.. having thumbs that are opposable or grabbing things is nice, but we've been able to do that for millions of years. Only the animals are jealous of that today. But to play with your feet!
Feet are a whole beast to tame! Like bringing a tiger home as a pet (not recommended... sorry mzazi!) they are wild at first and must be brought under control. Anyone can pick up objects with their hands like simple tools, but to move and shoot a ball with your feet takes much, much skill. To make so much with one's feet almost seems like those crazy "opposite days" you Americans like so much. To manipulate a ball with you feet is so much harder than to do so compared to your hands.
Do you understand? This soccer game is one that speaks with the feet. You Americans love your hands... that is probably why your sports players, moving picture stars, and politics men are always using them on lady people! Ha ha! Another joke!
I laugh and say to you Americans "Why are you always running around in your sports with so many sticks? Someone is going to get hurt!" You see in soccer only one player, the keeper of goal is allowed to use his hands. Everyone else must only use their feet (unless it is a "throw-in" from out-of-bounds).
You Americans have a very funny relationship with feet. American women are always cramming them into very weird shoes that rise very high and American men are always wearing sports shoes they rarely play actual sports in. It seems like only children and dirty, backpacking college kids expose their feet to the air.
Growing up I always wished I had four feet instead of two hand and two feet. It is funny because one of my friends of childhood did have four feet, but that was because we lived so close to a Shell oil drilling station back in Nigeria. Surprisingly, he was not very good a soccer. He mostly laid around and complained of headaches. I would have used all those feet so well!
Think now, you Americans, I know that you are always moving about in your Sports Utility Vehicles and Hummers from place to place, and think of feet as something that get in the way of the TV, but for someone who walked to the neighboring village for school six miles both ways to use your feet in such a beautiful way is to make them sing with a ball!
I love hands, though. They are they fantastic ends of an out-stretched goalkeeper making a great save. In your American sports they fuel pitcher's duels, game winning touchdowns, and slap shot goals. You Americans always think that the using of feet in sports is somehow backwards, but really it is the highest form of art. Yes, yes.. having thumbs that are opposable or grabbing things is nice, but we've been able to do that for millions of years. Only the animals are jealous of that today. But to play with your feet!
Feet are a whole beast to tame! Like bringing a tiger home as a pet (not recommended... sorry mzazi!) they are wild at first and must be brought under control. Anyone can pick up objects with their hands like simple tools, but to move and shoot a ball with your feet takes much, much skill. To make so much with one's feet almost seems like those crazy "opposite days" you Americans like so much. To manipulate a ball with you feet is so much harder than to do so compared to your hands.
Do you understand? This soccer game is one that speaks with the feet. You Americans love your hands... that is probably why your sports players, moving picture stars, and politics men are always using them on lady people! Ha ha! Another joke!
I love to see American sports that use the hands. Like a powerful slam dunk, but to see a powerful blast of a shot from a foot curling into a goal many meters away, avoiding the hands (see always trying to get away from the hands!), for a score is love at first sight.
Thank you and until next time!
Support the Movement. Get the Free Beer Movement T-Shirt. Only from Objectivo.com
It's very nice of you to share your knowledge through posts. I love to read stories about your experiences. They're very useful and interesting. I am excited to read the next posts. I'm so grateful for all that you've done. Keep plugging. Many viewers like me fancy your writing. Thank you for sharing precious information with us. Best elite escorts service provider.
ReplyDelete