Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Tuesday XI: USMNT Player Ratings in Beer


By "The Other 87 Minutes" / Senior Unemployed English Major Correspondents


Tim Howard (GK) Lindemans Framboise: Sweet and sour temperament, but effervescent as usual. Made some crucial saves that kept the match level for 70 minutes.
Timmy Chandler (LB) Weihenstephaner Hefe: Typically a refreshing bit of German goodness, but on this occasion a little too light when something stronger was called for.
Clarence Goodson (CB) Oude Gueuze: Can be quite enjoyable in moderation, but too much at once leaves a sour taste. Responsible for the deciding goal in the match.
Carlos Bocanegra (CB) Rogue Chocolate Stout: Full-bodied and strong. Was the most consistent on the backline for the US.
Steve Cherundolo (RB) Oskar Blues Ten Fidy Imperial Stout: Viscous and impenetrable, but perhaps a bit thick. Dolo dealt with the threat of Franck Ribery all night, but needed help on occasion.
Brek Shea (LW) Stone Pale Ale: Has the trappings of something sweet but pours bitter and a bit bland. Shea was looking to make connections but fell flat all night.
Kyle Beckerman (LM) Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA: Fully loaded but lacking in balance. Beckerman was tenacious in the midfield but didn't know what to do when he had the ball.
Maurice Edu (CM) McSorley's Irish Pale Ale: Can best be described as underwhelming and flavorless. Edu was totally anonymous throughout the match.
Clint Dempsey (RM)  - Schlenkerla Rauchbier: A true standout - firey and bitter, but overpowering at times. Dempsey always looks threatening but may have missed a decisive pass in the second half.
Danny Williams (RW) Yuengling Black & Tan: A tale of two styles. Looked competent tracking back, but couldn't do much on offense.
Jozy Altidore (FW) Stone Double Bastard Ale: Packing a huge punch, can get the job done on its own. And that's what was asked of Jozy on Friday. Although he didn't capitalize by the end, he showed signs of life with little to no support up front.
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The Other 87 seeks to provide something that’s not instant analysis or eve of matchday previews. Think of us as the good bits of your favorite soccer coverage: the profiles that examine what makes a certain player tick, the historical background that sheds some light on how the sport has evolved to the present day, the silly features that are more than just tacking names on a list, but considering and explaining why each one deserves to be there.
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“When you play a match, it is statistically proven that players actually have the ball three minutes on average. The best players – the Zidanes, Ronaldinhos, Gerrards – will have the ball maybe four minutes. Lesser players – defenders – probably two minutes. So, the most important thing is: what do you do those 87 minutes when you do not have the ball…. That is what determines whether you’re a good player or not.” –Johann Cruyff

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1 comment:

  1. Well done! Reminded me of this write-up: http://hoosierbeergeek.blogspot.com/2010/06/getting-to-know-your-us-national-team.html

    ReplyDelete

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